At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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