tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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