When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
