so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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