Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
