theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
