Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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