Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
