i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
