Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
