I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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