honey bunches of taint.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
