please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
