lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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