In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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