You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
