my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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