I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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