thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
