I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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