he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
