Screwed.edu
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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