i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
