i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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