i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
