You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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