I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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