yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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