The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
