His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
