I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
