I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
