Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
