Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
