I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
