North Korea, Best Korea!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Randomize
