I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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