Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
