You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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