Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
