Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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