he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
