This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
