Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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