11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
