Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
