its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
