I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
