areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She bit a glass in half.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize
