somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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