He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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